Watermelon Jelly
by unicorn guts
Summary: Impure as it is sweet and innocent. Stuff for Valentine's Day in increments of five. ZimxDib; ZADR. For Jackie.
1. Anti Honey

It's just another one of those wretched earth holidays, worse then Halloween and Christmas combined, one that never failed to twist Zim's squeedly spooch in a way that would have him running towards the nearest bathroom.

Valentine's Day.

The Irken watches the 'earth monkeys' walk around the classroom, exchanging valentine meats and whenever one was thrown onto Zim's desk (cherry colored liquid slopping out and staining the wood) he would merely push it away with his pencil.

Zita walks towards Zim's desk almost shyly, and when she places the bologna shaped heart onto his desk, he notices the slight tinge of pink on the girl's cheeks. He twitches visibly, murmuring a 'Thank you' and waits until she walks away to push it off the desk.

Zim groans, all this affection is making him sick.

While Zim contemplated feeding the valentine meats to GIR, Dib had snuck up behind Zim, armed with a piece of beef tenderloin that hovered above Zim's head.

It turns out, Dib was going to give the piece of meat as a token of his affection, but he figured Zim would deny him or just wouldn't get it. But watching Zim scream and flail as the meat burned his skin was just as good.

Dib's free hand ghosts over Zim's bouffant wig, ready to drop the meat onto Zim's (lovely) green head, but the petite alien had felt Dib's hand before it even touched him - thus causing Zim to jam his elbow into the boy's stomach.

"FILTHY DIRT CHILD," Zim shrieks, watching the boy double over in pain, clenching his shirt as he gasped for breath. "YOU DARE TO TOUCH THE ALMIGHT ZIIIIIIIM!"

Zim jumps onto of his desk and hisses at the human, pointing a gloved claw at him. Dib rubbed his tummy, his lips forming a pout as he glared at Zim.

"Jeez, Zim! Why are you such a jerk!" Dib cries, pretending to be hurt. "I was going to give you a present."

"LAIR!"

"No really!" Dib squeaked, he points to the beef tenderloin on the floor, now ruined. "That was for you.."

Zim raised an invisible eyebrow, mouth peeling into a snarl, "What? I don't want your filthy earth MEAAATTSSS!"

Zim clenches and rings his hands in the air dramatically, and Dib watches with adoring eyes. Dib clasps his hands behind his back and kicks at the floor bashfully.

"Your just so wonderful, I just hoped I would be worthy enough to be your valentine.."Dib gushes. Dib had meant for it to be a half-joke and because Zim cannot resist a good stroke to his ego, he believes him.

Zim makes a pleased grunt, a scarcely-veiled grin lying full across his face.

"_Well_, I suppose if that's the case, then I could accept your FILTHY valentiney meat...thing."

Dib smiles, scooping the beef up for the floor, holding it out to offer it to the alien again (when he planned to throw it as soon as Zim lifted his hands) - but before Dib could even blink again, Zim pushed Dib down by his back as his knee drives into the boy's mouth.

A muffled scream and the sound of kids laughing fills the classroom.

Dib is on his knees, mouth covered by his hand, burgundy flowing out of his mouth.

"Alright Dib-thing, I'll be your valentine love-pig." Zim says, cracking the knuckles on his right hand against his palm and Dib has never been more attracted to Zim then in this moment.

Ms. Bitters, who was already irked before, was not pleased for the classroom disruption. Zim got a detention slip, and Dib was sent straight to the Skool nurse.

**XXXXXXX**

Dib was happy he hadn't lost any teeth, and was surprised when the Irken walked up to him after class (sent to detention during class time), asking Dib if wouldn't mind accompanying him to the base.

It became apparent in the rushing words that fell from his mouth in that moment that he wouldn't be able to hold onto to hold his excitement, "Sure, I'd love to!" Slightly muffled, his finger rubbing his teeth.

And Dib was very, very happy that the teeth nipping at his earlobe are suddenly dagger-like and sharp, causing him to hiss out wantonly out in pain. Dib is seated on the floor, Zim pressed against his back and running his claws down the boy's sides.

"Mmmm, Dib-thing.." Zim coos, and Dib's back arches as Zim nibbles at his neck.

Dib's back soon collides with the floor, the alien pushes his knees apart roughly and leaning over him. The little alien palms the boy's chest, kissing Dib hotly.

"Z-Zim.." Dib squeaks, the alien's mouth searing against his skin as Zim's hot breath drifted from his rips up to his nipple, mouth sucking at it. "C-Can I be your valentine next year too?"

Zim pulls away, looking thoughtful for a second, he feels for his antenna.

"If I feel festive enough, I guess..." Zim relented, and that's enough for the human.

When Dib's voice is shot and his breathing is shaky, when he finally says it, Zim's name comes out longingly. Tampering in to a whine, a whimper. Zim lifts up from where he was, telling Dib he tasted sweet and asks if he could stop by tomorrow, and that makes Dib confident to call this the best holiday ever.


	2. Sugar Mollusk

Dib, just to be funny, had made a bet with Zim on Friday. Which had also been the day of that scary long division test Ms. Bitters kept warning everyone about as if she were announcing the end of the world. Dib wasn't worried though, he was really good at long division, he got all the answers right during practice and was always asked for help.

And to be funny, of course, he made a bet with Zim.

If Dib got the higher score on the test, he would be allowed to show that video of Zim without his disguise on that one time GIR had forced him into having a fake tea party. And if Zim had gotten a higher score on the test, he would be allowed to make Dib his slave for a week.

Zim had agreed because he could not resist a challenge, and because he had deleted the video when he had snuck into Dib's house, so it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

It was supposed to be funny, at least to Dib, considering he was way smarter then the supposedly 'superior being' Zim.

But when the test papers came back, 93 percent written in red ink on the side of Dib's paper and 100 percent written on Zim's, it wasn't so funny.

Dib's mouth falls agape, staring at the paper with disdain and Zim, who had taken a seat next to him - laughs.

"SEE, I told you Dib!" Zim snickers, jabbing Dib in the shoulder and the boy covers his face with his hands to make a whiny sound. "I AM THE SUPERIOR LONG-DIVISION-ER."

"But..I'm supposed to be smarter then you.." Dib says, in a tone teetering on a sharp edge between indignation and wonder. The boy held the paper to his chest like a shield and whipped his head towards Zim's direction.

Dib's eyes widen when he sees a finger pointing at his face.

"LAIR!"

"Um, look Zim, you know I was just joking-" Dib says, pushing Zim's hand away from his face and mind running frantic on how to get out of the hole he put himself in.

"YOU'RE MAKING IT UP! You will keep your end of the deal! Or I'll do HORRIBLE things to your legs! HORRIBLE!" Zim shrieks, hands wiggling at Dib threateningly as he leaned over the side of his desk. The rest of the classmates were talking amongst themselves, and no one ever notice they were arguing.

Dib sighs, closing his eyes for a bit and when he opens them he sees the Irken licking his lips and staring at the human hungrily, it makes Dib's knees knock together in a feeling he wasn't familiar with.

"You'll make such a pretty pet." Zim dragged out smoothly, a smirk making it's way onto his face.

Dib, battling a sneaking suspicion that he was being mocked, had given a curt laugh in surprise. Zim had instructed him to be at the base after Skool, saying he had something nice for him, and Dib found himself intrigued.

"Alright, then." Dib said, seeing no actual harm in this. He would just humor the alien untill the week was over, it probably wouldn't be that bad anyway.

**XXXXXXX**

Dib's heart thumps hard suddenly, as if there had been a set of jumper cables attached to his ears. His eyebrows slowly rose, his face gradually glowing red.

"You've GOT to be kidding me."

Zim grins evily, sharp teeth gleaming in the dull glow of his lab, he held a pastel blue collar with a matching leash. He held it by his pinky and was growing increasingly amused at the expression on the boy's face.

"W-Where did you get that from?" Dib asks, swallowing the drool that pooled under his soft pink tongue and Zim's antennae shiver.

"GIR got it for me," Zim says absently, itching to place the collar around the boy's pale neck. "Nice, huh?"

Dib doesn't answer, instead staring stupidly at the Irken.

"Come 'ere." Zim says, gesturing for Dib to come closer with one clawed finger and yet Dib takes a step back.

"I'm NOT wearing that!" Dib squeaks, shaking his head and holding his hands in front of him as if it would push the alien away.

Zim rolls his ruby eyes, although you probably couldn't tell, "Dib, your not listening to me, slaves are supposed to LISTEN to their masters."

"I'm not your slave Zim-!" Dib began to protest and then two mechanical spider legs extend from Zim's utility PAK, slithering in the air like two snakes as they hover over the child menacingly.

"Dib, your legs.." Zim hisses, ruby eyes narrowing.

Dib's eyelids flutter for a moment, not wanting to wear the collar but not finding losing his legs all that appealing either.

"F-Fine.."

Zim smiles, obviously pleased and he walks behind Dib, he slowly puts the collar around his neck - His fingers brush Dib's skin agonizingly slow as Zim delicately does the clasp. The leash hanging behind his back, almost long enough to touch the floor.

"Bark for me?" Zim asks, nuzzling the boy's neck and Dib wonders why Zim is being so touchy feely with him all of a sudden, Zim usually screamed that Dib had 'disgusting earth germs' whenever the bumped into each other by accident in the hallway at Skool.

Dib blushed, beginning to feel humiliated, if this was what he was going to be going through all week - why had he made that stupid bet in the first place? Jokes on him.

"Um, woof woof?" Dib asks, unsure of what to do.

Zim looks disapproving, he taps his foot, "More enthusiasm."

When Dib barks, he ends up sounding like a Chiuaua and Zim laughs, which makes Dib's cheeks flush with embarrassment. He ended up having to crawl on the floor, pretend to dig a hole, balance GIR's TV remote on his nose (which he failed) and scratch his ear with his foot - which was hard to do, Dib fell on the floor twice, finally giving up and Zim snickered behind his hand.

"Good boy!" Zim coos, clapping and motioning for Dib to come towards him again. Dib wobbles over, trying to mimic a dog, his coal black scythe bouncing up and down in the air as he did so.

Zim leans down to meet Dib's face, mouth curving into a smile and Dib blinks as Zim makes smooching noises at him.

Dib tilts his head slightly, "What?"

"Kiss." Zim says, pointing to Dib's mouth.

"...You want to kiss me?"

Zim nods, Dib can feel his skin heating up.

"Um...No..." Dib says, slowly. Why would Zim want to kiss him? He was acting so weird today.

Zim frowns, getting up to move behind Dib as the child remained where he was, he feels Zim yank lightly at the leash (the Irken wraps the leash around his palm). All of a sudden, Dib feels himself being yanked back, a buckled boot slamming into his back. Dib coughs, neck exposed as Zim pressed down and pulled back the leash at the same time, choking the boy.

"A-Ah! Zim!"

"Punishment is customary for those who don't listen to their masters," Zim says silkily, the smile on his face is cruel. "We had a _deal_ remember?"

"Okay, I'm sorry-" Dib says hoarsely, his back hurts (_hurts hurts ow_). "I'll kiss you..."

Zim lets go, Dib's chin hits the lab's floor.

Dib feels a little dumb after he presses his mouth against the alien's, Zim was basically asking for a peck, he was choked for nothing.

"You are happy to be THE ALMIGHTY ZIM'S pet, yes?" Zim asks, grabbing the sides of Dib's face and that overwhelming urge to kiss him flares up again.

This is a trick question.

"Yes, master." Dib says awkwardly and Zim smiles.

This'll be a fun week.

**XXXXXXX**

Before Dib left, he argued with Zim about having to wear the leash at Skool, and because Zim was so _nice_ - He let Dib wear the collar only, placing the leash in his PAK for later. This warrants a moan and resigned swipe at the eyes from Dib.

At Skool, Dib had to deal with several of his classmates trying to give him dog treats while they barked at him, which wasn't all that bad. At least they didn't make fun of his head.

He had hidden the dog collar with the collar of his trench coat, but the clinking of the dog tag whenever Dib moved around in class made it noticeable.

Lunch time rolled by, and Dib sat in front of Zim as he stared down at his tray of food, Zim did not touch his - he leaned over and sniffed at it before cringing away. Dib nibbles at his sandwich, a tomato slipping from the rest of the condiments inside and landing with a 'plop' on his tray.

"Stink-meat, if your eating tuna, does that mean you'll taste like it later when we're spittle swapping?"

Dib's mouth remained stuffed with the sandwich, "What?" He asked, muffled.

Zim blinks a couple times before licking his lips.

"Dib-thing, would you mind escorting me to the bathroom?" Zim asks, offhandedly. When Dib looks up, shoving that last piece of lettuce in his mouth, he sees Zim examining his claws.

"Um, for what?" Dib asks, he raises a questioning eyebrow in the alien's direction.

"Because I said so." Zim hisses, he gets up and starts making his way towards the double doors that lead into the hallway and Dib stares at the alien's back helplessly before giving in and following him.

**XXXXXXX**

Dib stumbles into the nearest bathroom stall, the petite alien spins Dib around to press him against the stall door. Dib squeaks, squirming around under the alien's grasp as it roams it's curious hands all over his small body.

"What are you doing?" Dib growls, attempting to squeeze away but the alien had him pinned with his waist. "Stop that!"

"I read somewhere that boys do this all the time," Zim says, his head shoots up. His mind is having fun, playing cruel tricks. Fake-indigo eyes look at the ceiling curiously, noticing a piece of beef jerky was stuck to the surface. He looks at Dib again, who stares at him with wide-eyes. "Experimenting? Right?"

"I WOULDN'T KNOW!" Dib shrieks and Zim half-smirks as his hands twist underneath the boy's shirt.

"Don't worry, this'll be fun." Zim says, his voice is sultry and winsome.

Zim's knee presses against Dib's, forcing them apart as he slides up, pressing against the boy's groin. The pressure makes Dib gasp.

Zim's mouth barely pressed to a pale cheek bone, telling Dib that his hair smelled nice and the concept of Zim flirting is so odd that even a simple comment stirs up a desperate longing in Dib's chest.

Zim's knee is grinding, nice and slow.

Dib whimpers, hips rolling against the contact, Zim kisses him forcefully in response and Dib doesn't flinch.

**XXXXXXX **

Some clothes had come off in the frenzy, and when the sounds of gasping and the stall door being slammed into finally ceases, Dib finally stumbles out - He fumbles with the button on his pants, why is it that his hands have no trouble unwiring Zim's machines and yet don't have the dexterity to put his pants on correctly?

Zim comes out too, looking very pleased with himself. He fixes his wig, it had come off by accident and Dib found he liked the way Zim looked with his antenna's out and his fake-eyes still on.

He pats Dib's shoulder.

"Good boy! That was good." Zim said, gleefully and Dib pulls the sides of his trench coat over his chest, blushing.

Dib squeaks when he feels Zim grab his rear-end.

"Verrry good boy." Zim says, in that _tone_ and Dib is ashamed to want him all over again.

**XXXXXXX**

"The week is almost over, it's Saturday." Dib murmurs, the straw of his SuckMunkey cup brushing against the inside of his cheek and the alien doesn't say anything about the disappointment that he detects in the human's voice.

Dib thinks about all the dirty, yummy things he's done with Zim over the week and Dib desperately wishes that it wouldn't stop.

"Whatever." Zim comments dryly, with a shrug as if a few minutes ago Dib hadn't been on the floor of his bedroom curling tight around the Irken's fingers.

The TV plays a show with a happy creature in love with another bouncy creature. The bouncy creature sinks into the ground and a flower pops up in its place.

Dib bites the edge of the SuckMunkey cup, so hard that his teeth are threatening to crack the lip of it.

"Um, Zim?" Dib asks, and Zim makes a 'Hm?' sound at him without looking, the Irken's claws tap casually against the arm of Dib's couch.

"I was, uh, wondering if..maybe...we could extend this bet to..maybe...another week?"

The boy watches Zim grin.

"Oh, Dib-thing, your so pathetic," Zim snorts impishly, he laces his fingers together and places them behind his head. "If you want to so _badly_, than yes."

Dib blushes, happy, but biting back his smile.

"I suppose you'll need the practice for when I rule over your puny little planet."

Dib chokes on the cherry flavored ice, he turns his head, mouth forming a protest but the Irken quickly smacks their mouths together.

"Mmmph!"

Zim pulls away, jumping off the couch.

"No more discussion! Now escort me to your room or I'll remove your spleen!"

Dib sighed, he waited for Zim to grab the leash and when he did, Dib led him upstairs.

After they are finished, flushed and panting - Dib decided that, even by some miracle of chance, Zim did take over the world - He wouldn't mind Zim being his master.


End file.
